Career Life

Uneasiness

I can’t help but shake off the feeling that I did something extremely bad.

I’m not a criminal (thankfully) so I’m not all too used to the feeling of hurting someone. By hurting someone, what I mean is that I feel that I’ve betrayed them. I’ve disappointed them. I’ve let them down.

To whoever is reading this wonderful blog, you may have read the previous post, the confrontation. In that scenario, I had to get out and move on to another office (career wise) to grow and become more developed, but because I was the spearhead leader and manager in that office, and I’ve only stayed there for 6 months instead of a year, my other colleagues felt hurt from my move.

And it wasn’t even necessarily the contract that mattered, but it was because I wanted to lead that office but now that an undeniable opportunity presented in another area, I knew I had to make a decision: to stay in my current position and office and become a slave – run everything, become admin, secretary, planner, speaker, presentor and trainer or move to a bigger arena and have those other tasks delegated and become a student again myself.

The decision was clear to me. I had to move to the bigger arena. It is the only way for me to keep my sanity and prevent myself from being burnt-out.

I know the mistake lies on our team. We shouldn’t have volunteered to become the spearhead leaders in my current office without fully knowing the consequences. We should’ve listened to our higher leaders and our mentors but pride got in our way.

The school of hard knocks really hurt. And because we’ve done this rather dick move to my current colleagues, my team and I are fully prepared to have others do this to us too. But as I reflected on this event again and again, I have been thinking about helping others grow in their respective businesses for four years now. Admittedly, I have forgotten to help and even feed myself. For far too long, I’ve sacrificed my own personal growth so others can grow but now I’ve paid the price.

I’m not being selfish – I just want to survive. I want to help myself first so I can properly help others next time.

It’s time to really take this thing seriously and really put our determination and will to work. This sacrifice and bold move my team has made… we have to make something happen. This hurt has got to be worth something big. Growing pains: it’s all part of life and growth for us to change for the better.

There’s no more playing games. It’s game time. Battle time.

Advertisements

One thought on “Uneasiness

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s