March 26, 2016.
A lovely Tuesday that unfolded to be just like any other Tuesday… except it closed out with a twist. It was just like any other day at my career: meetings, client reviews, phone calls and all the other good stuff. I swear: I’m more passionate about my business and my career but today the focus isn’t about that. It’s what was going to happen later on that Tuesday night that really unnerved me.
My team and I had been thinking and planning for a long time to make a shift. I have been involved as a financial professional part time for three and a half years and full time now for half a year. Being an educator totally changed my life and it’s a decision that I don’t regret.
But standing where I am now, I’ve achieved some success, but mostly more failures. I left my original mentors and leaders too early. I had too much pride. I really thought I understood the systems and procedures of the business – but I didn’t. What ended up happening in the past three years in my career turned out to be mostly growing pains that really shouldn’t have happened. As a leader, I feel responsible for all of this. But what can I do? I am only human. To err is human, to forgive is divine.
However, I know it’s not too late to change. It’s not too late to make a shift in my business.
The team has made a lot of mistakes in the past but now I realize, it’s time to make a move.
But this move hurt. It hurt me a lot, and I know it hurt them too. I know that for sure during our discussion at the confrontation. Being the spearhead leader in that office, I know my absence will fully decapitate that center. But I am not in a position where I can sustain running everything – admin, planner, scheduler, speaker and presenter.
My field training suffers. My possibility for growth is stunted.
You know what they say: put your oxygen mask first before putting it on others. So I have to move. I have to change. But in order to that, I have to make a decision.
I have to leave.
The confrontation tonight made me want to scream and cry and pull out my hair – but I had to be stronger than that.
I have to stand by my decision to move to a small bowl to a bigger bowl – a bigger playing arena, so I can develop to all that I need to be.